Battle of the Covers: Smells Like Teen Spirit

"Dusty Ventures" (dustyventures) 08/29/2014 at 12:30 • Filed to: Battle of the Covers, BOTC, Musiclopnik, Why are my ears bleeding, Oh god they're terrible, Whatever you do, Don't look up the, Calcutta Anazamama version

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Hey! Wait! I've got a new complaint! And that complaint is that only two recognizable artists have covered Journey's "Any Way You Want It," the song that was scheduled to be today's cover. This ruined my schedule and caused me to waste hours writing an intro for that song and searching for covers that didn't exist. So, Nevermind that. I hereby declare !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! the winner of best "Any Way You Want It" and bring you: Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

In !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! we compared eight variants of Duran Duran's "Come Undone," each of them good in their own right. Cavo and My Darkest Day jumped out to an early lead and battling back-and-forth for the top spot. Fortunately, there was then a sudden surge of support for the fantastic cover of Carina Round, a surge I !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! in !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! Nope, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! Carina, who not so much covered the song as she did make it hers, held the lead to the end, ultimately scoring as many votes as Cavo and My Darkest Day had combined. In the battle for worst it was It Dies Today from the very beginning, with their screaming interpretation not sitting well with the voters. They ended up winning by two votes over Carina (side note: everyone who voted for Carina as the worst has been permanently banned from the entirety of the Gawker network. It's for the best).

[I'm going to delve a bit deeper than usual into the origins of the song and band here, because it's a hell of a story.] The members of the band Nirvana were once invited into a music label president's office on the 63rd floor of a major New York record company.

The president, a no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point kind of man, looked at Kurt Cobain and said "So what do you guys want."

Kurt famously looked straight back at the president and said "We want to be the biggest band in the world."

Everyone in the room laughed, thinking Kurt was joking and that such a thing would never happen, but Kurt was serious, and for a few too-brief years in the early 90's he achieved just that, and it all started with the Nevermind album, and in particular "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

Kurt didn't even start writing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" until a few weeks before the band started recording Nevermind, which was to be their second album, but their first with major record label Geffin Records.When Kurt first brought the song to the band he had nothing more than the riff and the chorus, which bassist Kris Novoselic dismissed it as "ridiculous." Angered by this, Kurt made the band play the riff for an hour and a half. Somewhere in this endless riff loop Novoselic decided to try slowing the tempo a bit. Dave Grohl added a drum beat and the song was born, the only song on the album to credit three band members as the authors.

With the album fully recorded, "Teen Spirit" was issued to the radio stations at the end of August 1991. The label intended to use the song to pique listeners' curiosity before later releasing "Come As You Are," which they expected to be the album's real hit. Initial sales and requests of the single confirmed their predictions, as the song failed to chart and sales of the single were slow outside the area of the band's small established fan base. The full album Nevermind was released at the end of September, with 46,000 copies in the initial U.S. distribution. The label hoped to hit 250,000 total sales, the same number their then-star band Sonic Youth hit with their first major album, but they knew this would be a high bar to reach. The album debuted at 144 on the Billboard 200 chart, spurred on by sales in the band's home Pacific Northwest region, where it sold out quickly. Geffen was pleased, their investment in Nirvana looked like it would produce a reasonable return and put up satisfactory results. Then the unbelievable happened.

"Teen Spirit," the song that upon release didn't get anywhere near the Top 100, was suddenly gaining momentum. It quickly became a favorite of college radio stations and MTV. Before the label knew what had happened Nevermind had gone gold, and in November this "grunge band debut album" broke into the Billboard Top 40. The album was selling so fast Geffen didn't know how to market the album because none of their strategies could keep up. Geffen's president Ed Rosenblatt told the New York Times "We didn't do anything. It was just one of those 'Get out of the way and duck' records." As the end of the year came, Rolling Stone titled "Smells Like Teen Spirit" the second best single of the year.

1991 ended and 1992 began, but the ascent of Nevermind continued on. By January 11 the album officially hit #1 on the Billboard charts, unseating MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON'S album Dangerous as the top album in the nation. At this point Geffen, the label that hoped to sell 250,000 total copies of Nevermind was selling 300,000 copies per week. The album was certified Platinum, then double, then triple. The single "Teen Spirit" became so popular that it made the band uncomfortable to the point of sometimes leaving it out of the concert setlist. Kurt's wish of becoming the biggest band in the world had come to fruition, and it wasn't anything like he dreamed it would be.

Aaaaand with that, let's move onto our cover contenders. Unsurprisningly "Teen Spirit" is a hugely popular song for cover performances. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! has 47 listed covers. Our old friend Tori Amos (winner of round 4's "worst" title) recorded a piano cover all the way back in 1992, and since then it's been covered by industrial bands, beatboxers, a cappella performers, and even Muppets. Odds are I'm going to omit someone's favorite cover (or !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! bit of !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , there's !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! of !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ), so if I did I'm sorry. Feel free to leave it in the comments. I've expanded the number of entrants to ten for this round because, well, there is a lot of terrible.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Tori Amos - (1992)

Abigail - (1994)

Melvins - (2000)

2002 - Scala and Kolancy Brothers

Paul Anka - (2005)

Patti Smith - (2007)

Richard Cheese - (2009)

Meat Puppets - (2011)

Arcane Roots - (2011)

The Muppets - (2011)

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

AND DON'T FORGET! If you want to check back on the results of previous rounds, or see what covers are coming in future rounds, there is now a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! with past rounds and the upcoming battle schedule.

mr_gofast > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 12:32

20

Dusty Ventures > mr_gofast 08/29/2014 at 12:35

4

I wanted to include this so bad.

mcseanerson > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 12:38

0

Does Weird Al's version not count because that's my favorite.

CalzoneGolem > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 12:38

0

It never occurred to me until just now that people might have covered Nirvana. Why would you do that?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 12:39

3

Richard Cheese all the way. If you don't vote for Dick Cheese, you're a pinko commie.

Dusty Ventures > CalzoneGolem 08/29/2014 at 12:41

1

One of two reasons.

1) Because they were the biggest thing in music in the early 90's and you want some of that/want to pay tribute to that.

OR

2) You want to see the world burn:

Dusty Ventures > mcseanerson 08/29/2014 at 12:42

0

Unfortunately I had to classify this as a parody, not a cover. With all the songs Weird Al's done I just couldn't set the precedent of including him here.

TheRallyStache > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 12:44

0

You forgot my favorite.

mcseanerson > mr_gofast 08/29/2014 at 12:44

4

Let's see if this can get more stars than any song gets votes for an honorary mention.

Dusty Ventures > TheRallyStache 08/29/2014 at 12:45

0

I couldn't include it because it's a live performance, which is against the rules I set during round 1.

CalzoneGolem > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 12:47

1

I'm not watching that video. In fact I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Dusty Ventures > CalzoneGolem 08/29/2014 at 12:49

1

That is a wise decision. It is, quite possibly, the worst cover of anything ever.

TheRallyStache > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 12:50

0

Well darn.

Mattbob > CalzoneGolem 08/29/2014 at 12:54

1

CalzoneGolem > Mattbob 08/29/2014 at 12:56

0

I'm not watching this video. I think you're trying to trick me into hearing a Nirvana cover. Not this time pal! Not this time!!

Mattbob > CalzoneGolem 08/29/2014 at 12:57

0

it's just a 2 second clip of a character from a thing saying "why would you do that?" that I was reminded of.

Gamecat235 > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 12:59

2

#winning

I, as past and present (and hopefully future) Gamecat, award you one internet for your mastery of the usage of tags. Please use it carefully.

CalzoneGolem > Mattbob 08/29/2014 at 13:00

0

Oh fine I'll watch it then

...

Not!

mr_gofast > mcseanerson 08/29/2014 at 13:00

1

it seems you are truly not BIG in showbiz until weird al makes fun of you..

Dusty Ventures > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 13:07

0

I just wanted to say this is officially my favorite photo assortment for Battle of the Covers

Jcarr > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 13:12

0

Maybe I'm too protective when it comes to Nirvana, or may Smells Like Teen Spirit just doesn't lend itself to being covered all that well, but all of these are varying degrees of terrible.

The Melvins was the only one that seemed passable, and I think that's because it was the closest to the original to my ear.

Interesting choice, though. Like Golem, the thought of a Nirvana tune being covered had never occurred to me.

Dusty Ventures > Jcarr 08/29/2014 at 13:19

1

Yeah, no. They're all awful. This is definitely a "best of the worst" competition (the worst of the worst is more like what I replied to Golem with). At one point last night I came to the sad realization that the Muppets cover may legitimately be one of the best "Teen Spirit" covers in existence.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 13:27

2

Oh jesus Christ that is not at all what I expected. Kill it with fire.

Dusty Ventures > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 08/29/2014 at 14:22

1

Dusty Ventures > Gamecat235 08/29/2014 at 15:37

1

Yeah I'm gonna waste it in a high stakes go fish tournament.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 17:10

0

Am I the only one who kinda hates nirvana and basically all the 90's grunge sound?

Dusty Ventures > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 08/29/2014 at 17:24

0

Depends. Are you including Bush, Soundgarden, and early Foo Fighters in "90's grunge sound?"

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 17:32

0

Foo feels post grunge I would say, at least their last couple albums. I dislike the other two bands if I'm honest.

Dusty Ventures > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 08/29/2014 at 17:39

6

GhostZ > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 21:02

3

This post is stupid. They never made covers of Nirvana.

No covers. Never happened. Don't know why you even bothered posted this.

....right?

Right?!

Dusty Ventures > GhostZ 08/29/2014 at 21:03

1

I'm willing to pretend if you are

Jcarr > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 08/29/2014 at 21:09

0

How can you not like Black Hole Sun? My brain does not comprehend.

Gamecat235 > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 21:21

0

I always wondered what you did when not rallying in your spare time. Now I know.

Phender > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 21:30

0

This is the greatest cover.

Bad Idea Hat > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 21:32

1

This makes me turn green and gain muscles.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 22:27

0

I always wondered what 60's Johnny Cash would sound like singing this.

Agrajag > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 22:30

2

I've got some more suggestions. Your series has made me rediscover one of my favorite artist's. Camille O'Sullivan. She was an architect by day and playing clubs at night. She got enough recognition and has released a few albums now.

Nick Cave - The Ship Song

NIN - Hurt

And another Bowie suggestion. Rock n Roll Suicide.

and don't forget to include Seu Jorge's cover.

I know some are live versions, but they were released on album I just couldn't find them on Youtube.

I'm enjoying this too much.

Ike > Agrajag 08/29/2014 at 22:50

1

road trip entertainment solved. like the hurt cover best must say

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Jcarr 08/29/2014 at 23:48

0

it's okay, but it is played so much I'm tired of it now.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Dusty Ventures 08/29/2014 at 23:49

0

I was born in 89 so the 90's aren't really my thing.

Dusty Ventures > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 08/30/2014 at 02:02

0

My brain cannot wrap itself around what that would sound like.

I bet old man Johnny Cash could have done a great rendition of Heart Shaped Box though.

Dusty Ventures > Bad Idea Hat 08/30/2014 at 02:04

0

I think they must have created it as a challenge. One of those "how far can you make it into the song before lighting your stereo on fire and throwing out the window" kind of things. It's the only logical explanation.

Dusty Ventures > Phender 08/30/2014 at 02:06

0

When the words "ukelele orchestra" popped up I genuinely uttered an "oh hell"

Dusty Ventures > Phender 08/30/2014 at 02:21

0

Just to add, the rules of Battle of the Covers don't allow live performances, so I couldn't have included this (also every time he gets a line wrong I die a little inside). I also dropped the covers that used unconventional instruments for the sake of novelty, because there were just too many (which sadly meant leaving out 2Cellos, which I kinda dig). Here's a few examples of what I had to omit:

Cello:

Moog:

Strings:

Acapella:

Um...

Piano:

Beatbox:

Dusty Ventures > Gamecat235 08/30/2014 at 02:22

0

On an unrelated note, if you're feeling morbidly curious I just responded to Phender with a handful of "Teen Spirit covers using novel instruments."

Dusty Ventures > Agrajag 08/30/2014 at 02:25

1

I'll definitely use some of these. Unfortunately I can't really do Hurt (even though I love the song), because Johnny Cash is going to win it. He just is. There's no need to set up a poll.

Agrajag > Dusty Ventures 08/30/2014 at 09:28

0

Good point.

mcseanerson > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/30/2014 at 19:40

0

I'm voting Paul Anka just to be different.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/30/2014 at 20:21

0

I love Dick

George Costanza > Dusty Ventures 08/30/2014 at 21:15

1

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > Dusty Ventures 09/01/2014 at 01:11

0

There should be a Freebird round. Built to Spill must be included.

Dusty Ventures > saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars 09/01/2014 at 01:59

0

I'm game for Freebird

leicester > Dusty Ventures 09/01/2014 at 14:37

0

The best part is that he was able to get many of the extras and cheerleaders from the original video.